Tuesday, January 13, 2009

RUDE AWAKENING

It's the ending where I wake up, full of body paint, groggy with sadness and tiredness. I want to return to the narrow alley ways I walked through. I wanted to once again raise my glass of wine and make a toast with the people at the restaurant. To the artist to pose for him, and to the handsome young man I never got to know. I break out in a cold sweat and immediately sit up in bed, half dazed about the dream I just had. I walk slowly into my cold bathroom and turn on hot water to get myself out of this stupor.




I could barley walk with a horrific headache, when someone enters my apartment. I shout out for them to get out, when I lift my head up, and I see Dan starring at me, wondering what freight train had just run over me. I told him he needed to knock, then told me one else needed to! I looked at him shocked and dismayed.

'So, you're', ..stopping his next word that was about to come out of his mouth. Yeah, 'I'm...about to take a shower and I need to be left alone', was my reply. He told me I looked like I had one hell of a time, and the paint all over my body looked terribly sexy. He said he was upset he wasn't invited to the mayhem from the night before. I told him next time, and that I would call him when I was feeling better. I then asked him leave.

I got into the shower, grateful for the warm water drenching me with relief. I foamed up wanting to rinse off as fast as I could when Dan suddenly reappears, nude, entering my shower. He picks me up and leans me against the corner of the cold tile wall, spreads my legs apart, wrapping them around his hips and fucks me. I wrapped my arms around him, crying with every thrust he gives me. I dig my nails into his back and scream loudly when I come. His moan turns into a grunting sound as the water is beating off his back from the forceful shower spray.





He then sits on the shower floor, sitting there with his hands to his face. As I try to pass him, he grabs me and drags me into the bedroom, only to blindfold me and ties me to the bed in an upright position. This doesn't seem to be Dan. He turned into a crazy man, wanting revenge.





I told him he was acting out of character, that all this was stupid, still sobbing from when we were in the shower. I told him if he wanted to play rough, this wasn't the time. I screamed at him to take the blindfold off me and to untie me and he did. I then told him to get out and to never come back.

WALKING WITH ANGELS

I'm drifting off into a land I've only seen in books and magazines, on poster boards and travel brochures. Into the slumber I'm now drifting into, I enter in a strange and beautiful place I never want to leave.


I enter a long narrow alley way, somewhere foreign to me, that's entrancing and melodic. I hear voices in my head, guiding me where to go, and so I keep walking into quaint narrow alley ways that seem as if I had once lived there long ago in another time. The voices are singing to me, almost with a sacred tone to it, and I keep on walking. They are guiding my every step.



There in the far distance where there are many door ways, I see a man with dark hair, a handsome man who is trying to seduce me. For whatever the strange reason may be, I resist him. I walk forward, only to see the same man again in other doorways, asking me why I don't want to be with him. I tell I do, but that I can't. And so I keep on walking, and I keep hearing these beautiful almost angelic like voices singing in my head, a sound like no other sound I have ever heard. It's so calming, so reassuring, so real and true, like a loving mother giving you the love and security you can bet your life on.

So what is this? Where am I? I now see an elderly man with a Venetian style hat on, and he's an artist. I see him at his doorway, and he invites me in to see his art work. I go inside, and I see these beautiful works of art, skillfully done, that only a master could have accomplished. I tell him I am very taken back by his work, and I see nudes in beautiful colors on easles, almost like a cross between a fusion of charcoal and oil. They are truly magnificent. He asks me to pose for him but I decline. He then takes me in to show me the other part of his home, a parlor, and it's like an Italian villa, but smaller, yet just as spectacular with a quaint and bohemian style. I love this place, a place I would like to live in, but I know I must leave and return to my walk.




I see other doorways, and ruins only European countries have, and I wish I could stay here. Within me, I know I would have to leave, something I don't want to do. It's like a journey, a mission that I'm to be on, and so my walk continues. Just a slight bit ahead, there's a restaurant, and people are in inside, talking, drinking some wine in simple but pretty glasses, toasting good cheers to each other, and feeling very good with each other. It's a strange thing, as not many people are eating. They are consumed with talking with each other and clinging their glasses together. When they see me, some hold their glass up to me, and ask me if I would like some wine. I have some, then I hold up my glass of wine and toast with them.


I am walking out, thanking them. I see the handsome man again, asking me why I don't like him. I tell him I do like him, but I have to continue my walk. He tells me he will meet me further up, and I agree. As clear and vivid as it all is, it has a smoky and unclear view. I can see, yet I can't see their faces that clearly, and knowing that something as wonderful as this will have a sad ending.


My walk continues, feeling this is real. If I play my cards right, I can stay right where I am, and I won't have to leave after all. I can now feel the air that is clean and brisk. I feel I am walking home, looking for my door, and being greeted by my husband, the handsome man with the dark hair. I reach out and again my hands are gliding across the brick that lines the walls in this mysterious new home of mine. But where is my door? How do I find my home? Then I see the number 9 on a door and I walk in.