I got up and got dressed. I went for a ride in my car to clear my head. I just drove around and again told myself to get a grip, that I hadn't been like this for a good long while, and it wasn't conducive to my lifestyle. If I wanted to mope all day long about one man, then perhaps I should get a 9 to 5 type of job like most everyone else does in life. But when I chose to abandon all that nonsense, all the bullshit that comes with the hope of just one man in your life that dominates your every thought, I knew this wasn't for me. So I kept on driving and kept on thinking that things are ok and all is well.
I stopped to get something to eat, then returned to my apartment to get a good nights sleep and everything would return to normal. I won't let a stranger rule my feelings, even if he should ever return or not. I loved to play, and playing at keeping secrets excited me. I knew I would hear another, and I couldn't wait. I was like the 'mother Teresa' of hearing and keeping those secrets, secrets that men would tell me and it fueled my need to hear more.
When I got into bed, I was still feeling a bit woozy, so I laid there, getting comfortable in my soft sheets that draped around me, and hoped maybe my dream of my foreign journey would come back. I heard a slight knock at my door, but ignored it as I had been doing. If I should get a visitor tomorrow, that would be fine, but right now was the time to sleep and to welcome torrow.
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